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How To Move Out of Your Parent’s House in 13 Easy Steps
By Susan Doktor MONEY RESEARCH COLLECTIVE
Whether you’ve just graduated from high school and want to establish your independence or your parents have asked you to find your own place, moving out of your family home is both an emotional decision and a practical challenge.
If you’ve never lived on your own before, moving out of your parent’s house will involve learning new skills, from how to set up a budget to how to keep your home clean and tidy. With forethought and determination, you’ll acquire the expertise to live well independently. We offer this guide to help you make a smooth transition.
Table of Contents
- 13 steps to moving out of your parent’s house
- Moving out of your parent’s house FAQs
- How we chose the best tips for moving out of your parent’s house
- Summary of our guide to moving out of your parent’s house
13 steps to moving out of your parent’s house
Step 1: Make sure of your decision (move out for the right reasons)
How to do it
When you get the urge to set up your first place, it’s time for a little soul-searching. Ask yourself, what are your primary motivations for moving out? Are your parents overbearing and unable to give you the headroom to grow? Do you lack the privacy you need? Is anyone in your house abusive? Do you go out of your way to avoid spending time at home? These are all pretty good reasons to leave your parents’ home. So is moving out at your parents’ request of course. If you’re responsible for paying rent to your parents, you might prefer to spend the money on getting your own place.
Then again, are you just trying to avoid conflict? Facing and resolving conflict is a skill you’ll need throughout your life. It’s a whole lot easier to learn when you’re interacting with people who love you, so don’t pass up the chance to work on conflict resolution within the context of a loving family. On its own, anger is generally a pretty poor reason for moving out.
Step 2: Talk with your parents about moving out
How to do it
In a word, delicately. This isn’t the kind of talk you have at the spur of the moment. It’s especially not something you should blurt out in anger. Prepare for the conversation by imagining how you’ll answer the many questions your parents will have when you make your announcement. The more thoughtful you are, the more confident your parents will be in your ability to live independently. They want to believe you’ll be alright on your own. If you really want to impress your folks, show them the budget you’ve worked out for yourself. Share details on how much money you’ve saved in anticipation of getting your own place.
Be prepared to be challenged. That’s normal. For one thing, your parents love you. As the song goes, they’ve grown accustomed to your face and, moreover, the joy you bring them just by being around. Even if things are sometimes tense, they’re used to your company and your routines. They rely on you for normalcy. Deep down, parents may experience grief at the very thought of you leaving home.
Step 3: Create an emergency fund
How to do it
Financial advisors recommend that everyone — not just people who are just starting out living independently — have a savings account equal to three to six times their monthly living expenses. So the first step is to figure out what those expenses are. Rent, food and utilities come to mind immediately.
But don’t neglect to include your car payment if you have one. Car insurance, too. Factor in any student loan payments you have to make. If you owe money on any credit cards, be sure to include your monthly payments — and not just the minimum payment due. Your goal should be to get out of debt as quickly as you can.
Total up your expenses and multiply them by three, four, five and six. The more months of living expenses you can cover, the more secure you will be. Then start saving. Some of the simplest ways to save money include using public transportation instead of driving, forgoing restaurant meals, limiting your alcohol consumption, quitting smoking (anything!), limiting the number of streaming services you subscribe to, and otherwise reducing what you spend on entertainment. That may have to include your gym membership, but there are lots of apps that can help you stay fit. Hey, no one said moving into your first apartment was going to be easy! But it has many rewards.
Step 4: Create a workable monthly budget
How to do it
Here’s an idea you may not have considered: ask your parents for budgeting help. They’ve been managing your family home for years and they fully understand what “cost of living” means. They have the bills to prove it. Those bills are helpful because they contain current data. Your parents will be happy to see you taking the initiative and, chances are, will freely give their time to help you reach your goal of living in your own place.
If you’d rather not ask your parents for help, there are thousands of free budgeting resources online. More are available at your public library. You don’t have to be a financial wiz to create a budget, but it helps if you’re handy with a spreadsheet.
Creating a budget depends on having two figures in hand: the amount you earn and the amount you expect to spend from month to month. If there’s too great a gap between the first figure and the second, it’s time to rethink your spending habits.
As Josh Trumm, one of the people we interviewed in the course of writing this article put it, “Budget, budget, budget! Especially when you’re first starting out. Be militant about tracking your spending. Avoid spending on luxuries and other optional expenses until you have a good grip on how much to spend per week, per month, per year. Living like a monk can be boring as hell, but that’s how you get a financial safety net beneath you.”
Step 5: Work on raising your credit score
How to do it
You’ll never know how important it is to have a high credit score until you need to borrow money. Having a high credit score ensures that you’ll pay less for the privilege of borrowing, in the form of lower interest rates. We really can’t overestimate the importance of having a high credit score. It can affect everything from whether a landlord decides to rent to you to the down payment you’ll be required to put on a house, down the road when you want to become a homeowner.
Here’s the rub. If you’re just entering adult life, you probably don’t have a credit report or credit score. That’s because you have no credit history upon which credit bureaus can assign you one. So your first credit goal is to establish a credit history. Getting a credit card in your name is a good first step.
Let’s face it. Many lenders are reluctant to loan money to anyone they view as a credit risk. But that’s not true of all of them. Some credit cards are easier to get than others. Gas company credit cards are among them. So if you drive a car, consider applying for one. Put some or all of your gas purchases on the card, then pay your entire balance on time, every month. Soon you’ll have a good credit record that will earn you a high credit score.
Another option is to apply for a secured credit card. With a secured card, you put down your own cash in prepayment of your credit card bills. As you make purchases, your credit card uses your own money to pay for them. You continue to add funds to your account as the months go on. As you pay credit your bills on time, your positive balance is maintained and you’ve established a pattern of using credit responsibly.
There’s one other way to build a credit history, but you’ll need your parent’s help. They can add you as an authorized user on one or more of their own credit cards. As they pay their bills on time, you’ll build a positive credit history along with them. There’s some risk involved in this approach. If your folks aren’t responsible about using credit, they can tank your credit score along with their own over time. So think carefully about hitching your own credit to your parents’ unless you’re totally confident that they don’t overuse credit or pay their bills late.
Step 6: Take a tour!
How to do it
It’s a wide world out there. You may have decided the what and the when — you’re moving out of your parents’ house as soon as possible, for example. But you may not have decided on the where. Choose your new neighborhood carefully. Your first list of potential new locations might be quite long. If so, take the time to do a lot of research on any town you’re considering. That way you can narrow the field. Check out the cost of living and the housing market where you’re thinking of moving. Read up on museums, entertainment venues, parks and opportunities for outdoor activities. Then, once you’ve narrowed down your choices, it’s road trip time. Visit a few cities that are at the top of your list and see for yourself what they have to offer.
On the other hand, your new home town may have been chosen for you, as in, “I found my dream job and it’s 100 miles away!” That makes it easier to take an in-depth tour of a town. You can set up appointments to view different rental properties and find the ideal new apartment. You can really get to know your way around, which will make you feel more comfortable when moving day comes. In any case, we don’t advise anyone to move someplace sight unseen. See your new destination with a visitor’s eyes before making an irreversible decision to move.
Step 7: Find your ideal living destination
Pro tip: Work with a real estate agent
You can search for a new home online on countless websites. But the process can be frustrating. Here’s why.
You read through listing after listing and find a place you love. A place in a great neighborhood nearby your job, with a great kitchen, storage space, and an awesome running trail just steps from your door. So you go through the trouble of filling out a rental application — which may involve submitting proof of employment, recent pay stubs and references — only to receive an automated response telling you the place has already been rented. What the…? And it happens every day.
But working with a realtor can make the process of finding a new home simpler and less stressful. Realtors who specialize in rental properties have the lowdown on every apartment they represent. They’re not going to show you a property that’s already under agreement. And they’re going to listen carefully as you describe your living space preferences. Think of a realtor as a curator. They may look at hundreds of apartments in a month, but the ones they show you will be tailored to the needs you describe. Incidentally, working with a realtor is free for renters. Landlords pay realtors commissions for successfully marketing their properties.
Step 8: Set up a moving timeline
How to do it
Moving is one of the more stressful tasks you can take on, simply because there are so many steps to the moving process and you need to take them in the proper order to ensure a smooth move. If you’re just moving a few boxes of clothes and electronics, you may be able to cajole a buddy with a truck to help you move them. But if you’re moving lots of stuff, including large pieces of furniture, you may wind up hiring a moving company. Moving expenses are another factor you should take into account when deciding when to move, of course.
It pays to talk to several moving companies before hiring one. Movers are happy to give you a free estimate of what it will cost to use their services.They’re also quite helpful when it comes to helping you plan your move. They’ll provide you with checklists, templates, and other tools to help you sequence your move and stay on track with your schedule. Once you’ve chosen a mover and know your move-in date, it’s time to schedule your move. If you’re moving locally, your belongings will likely be picked up and dropped off the same day. But if you’re moving a long distance — going to college out of state, for example — your mover may give you a window of several days or more on when you can expect your belongings to arrive.
Step 9: Start packing
How to do it
Rose Hazard lived with her parents until she was 24 while attending a local university. When she graduated, she moved to Boston to attend graduate school, where she lived with several roommates for a number of years and has since moved several times. She offered a couple of tips on packing up for your new, independent living situation. “Donate or sell everything you no longer need,” she recommended. We would add, be brutal about it. “You can sell things on Facebook Marketplace or Ebay or donate them to your local Goodwill or Salvation Army store,” she continued. “And if your parents allow you to leave some belongings behind, pack them in labeled boxes and put them somewhere out of the way for long term storage.” That’s excellent advice. Don’t forget, your parents may want to repurpose your old bedroom. It might serve as a home office, guest room or den in the future.
You’ll need a few inexpensive supplies when you pack up:
- Sturdy moving boxes (you can buy them at a U-Haul store)
- Bubble wrap, newspapers, or other cushioning material
- Lots of clear packing tape
- A Sharpie
Pack your items sensibly, placing like items together. Put everything that belongs in your new kitchen in the same boxes. The same goes for clothing. Have boxes dedicated to books and linens, too. Label your boxes with your Sharpie, cover each label with clear packing tape in case your boxes get wet on the way to your new destination. And don’t pack any boxes that are too heavy to lift. That will help you be as self-reliant as possible during the moving process.
Step 10: Ask for a raise
Pro tip:
This one’s a biggie. Many people of all ages find it difficult to ask for a raise, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re one of them. But if you’re on your way to becoming financially stable, a salary bump can really help.
It isn’t prudent to ask for a raise too soon. Let a successful year go by before asking for a performance review or a salary increase. Asking for a review demonstrates that you’re anxious to get feedback on the work you’ve been doing. Prepare for your review by gathering evidence that you do, indeed, deserve a raise and be sure to share it during your review.
Look back on the past year and note your accomplishments. Under the best of circumstances, these accomplishments will be measurable. If you’re in sales, for example, note each time you’ve made quota, or even better, exceeded it. If you came up with a time-saving process for yourself or others in your workplace, try to figure out how much efficiency you gained. Other evidence of high performance may be less tangible, but it counts, too. Maybe you took the initiative to organize a store room at your office or organized a team-building event. Mention any examples of your taking initiative to boost your chances of increasing your paycheck.
One thing you shouldn’t mention during your review: don’t ask for a raise just because you need more money. Focus on how you benefited your company as an employee.
Step 11: Hire professional assistance for your moving or ask your friends
How to do it
There are lots of ways of getting your stuff from your parents’ home to your own. Which you choose will depend on several factors:
- How much stuff do you have to move?
- Are you moving heavy furniture:
- How far are you moving?
- Are you moving a car to your new home?
- What’s your moving budget?
You may be moving just a few items that can fit in your car or a friend’s. In that case, you can take the DIY approach to moving and probably don’t need to hire a professional moving company. Have some overflow? A small rented trailer from U-Haul will do the trick, if you’re comfortable towing one. Companies like UHaul and Penske also rent small moving trucks. Those are the cheapest ways to move.
But if you’re moving a lot of large, heavy objects, especially over a long distance, hiring a mover may be your only choice. Before signing a moving contract, research the best moving companies online. Request a free quote from each company you contact. Moving costs vary widely. Some long distance moving companies offer student discounts so be sure to ask any moving companies you’re considering if any are available.
Finally, ask to see each company’s moving contract, too. And study it carefully. Be sure to note what kind of moving insurance is provided under the agreement, too.
Step 12: Set up your new utilities
How to do it
Depending on your rental agreement, you may be responsible for paying some or all of your utility bills. If so, you’ll need to set up new utility accounts.
The process is fairly straightforward. Ask your landlord or realtor for the names of the gas, electric, and water companies that serve your area. Call each one and request a new account. Schedule service to begin the day before you move in to your new place, just to be sure everything is up and running when you arrive.
And don’t forget to set up internet service—you don’t want to be without it when you’re in the midst of a move.
Step 13: Unpack and welcome to adult life!
If you’ve taken the time to pack thoughtfully, dividing your possessions by room and labeling each of your boxes so that you know where they belong, unpacking should be a breeze. But take your time with it. You deserve a break, for one thing. And you also deserve time to look back at all you’ve accomplished and celebrate a little. Take yourself out to dinner or get together with friends. Maybe even invite a couple of people over for pizza out of the box. No need to fuss. You’ll have plenty to do over the next few weeks, so take a deep breath now. Adult life is waiting for you, with plenty of challenges and the opportunity to revel in your new-found independence.
How To Move Out of Your Parent’s House FAQs
How we chose the best tips for moving out of your parent’s house
We spoke with parents who had a hard time letting go, parents who found the transition to an empty nest easy, and parents who welcomed their kids back home once they’d already moved out. We studied the costs of living independently in various cities, including the major purchases one has to make when first setting up a household. We also relied on our own expertise on the subjects of budgeting, building credit, moving companies, and moving expenses.
Summary of How to Move Out of Your Parents’ House
Here are the key takeaways from our guide to moving out of your parents’ house:
- The decision to leave your family home shouldn’t be taken lightly. And it shouldn’t be rushed, either.
- Independent living is a skill that you develop over time, it’s true. But you’ll want to have quite a few things in order before taking the plunge.
- Consider your financial situation very carefully before getting your own place. Create a monthly budget that includes all of your fixed expenses and make sure you’re earning enough to comfortably cover them. Consider sharing a place with roommates to reduce your rent and utility expenses.
- Create an emergency fund equal to three to six times your monthly expenses before you strike out on your own.
- Figure out what you’re going to do with your stuff. Minimize what you have to move by getting rid of items you no longer use or need. You’ll save on moving costs should you have to hire a professional moving company.
- Save yourself some time and frustration. Work with a realtor to find your ideal living situation.
- Last but not least, remember that moving out of your family home can be an emotional experience for you and your parents. Treat each other with care as you work through the feelings. Make a promise to keep in touch. And keep it!
